enduring the storm

Tears stream down my face as I write this…

Trying to piece together the pieces of my conscious that’s lacerated, mind incarcerated by everything that’s dictating to me that this is how my life’s supposed to be…

Standing in the middle of confusion heartbroken watching the illusions conclude me…

Daring me to pull the trigger and set myself free or close my mouth and let it be…

The choice, is ultimately up to me…

The problem is that I’ve been through this before, died 3 times why not make it 4 before I become a victim of my circumstances or my obligations that obligate my time, mind and money to the point that I can’t tell who’s controlling who…

But laying down and shutting up is just not what I do...

Endurance has always been my strong suit…

I may hurt for a bit but once I plant my feet in this game, brace for the winds and hold on while this life tries to destroy my name, tries to tear me apart, tries to pull out your heart in justification of love, right, and religion while killing your dreams…

Stick the knife in deep just to see how loud you scream it seems…

And I know I can’t be the only one, the lonely one feeling this brutality tear at me…

if you only knew what I’ve been through...

Then you’d know my life is more than proof...

I persevere because of him, I persist because he insists…

I fight back because he instilled it in me...

This validates my life…

This struggle…this fight...

My right to be silent in crowds, loud for no reason, laugh with my heart and smile through the tears…

And despite my fears…

I’m still here…more than words…

More than what you see...

I endure because that’s what he’s instilled in me